But a funny thing happens when you publish a book. It needs you. Like a newborn child, it constantly cries for attention. It demands coddling. With the birth of SHE OF THORN, I've not had much rest from my baby. And what's more, my babies' cry has awakened the nasty spirit of pain's remembrance - the chilling ghost of 'She' has returned in the guise of reviews, fan emails, readings and questions.
Oh, the questions.
"Has SHE read it?" takes the prize for the question most often asked.
No, to my knowledge she has not, and yes, she knew the book was coming out. The last thing she said was, "please don't use my real name, you know the situation."
Yes, her husband would not give me glowing literary reviews, to be certain. But the point remains, with all this SHE in the room, I can't completely pull free of her ghost's painful hold. I am still tethered to her by SHE OF THORN. My problem child reminds me constantly that I am caught up in a seemingly never ending revisiting of old wounds.
Which brings me to this blog intro. What do I do with the new SHE poems that started pouring out of me, all relating to revisited SHE pain? Perhaps a sequel to SHE OF THORN? No, It's certainly not among any of the projects piled before me. First there is my novel IN THE TIME OF THE FLY. It engagingly nudges for a final edit, soon it too will cry like a baby, torturing me every night with it's needs. Then there is the languished grasp of my unfinished novel, THE MUSE, as it constantly tries to seduce me back into it's twisted world. THE MUSE begs me to forsake all else and be its one and only. This room is not big enough for a SHE and a muse it tells me.
No, the new poems have no home as of present.
But wait! A blog sits empty, dusty with need. Yes, an obvious fit. The fresh hemorrhaging of pain needs a killing floor on which to coagulate and this solid floor of a blog will do nicely. Nicely indeed.
So, with dripping hands I now officially hold my bleeding heart and squeeze - haphazardly spilling the tragic memory of SHE until that day SHE no longer pulses within…
once again.
-Kalynn Campbell
